I love my friends.

I am currently sitting in my best friend, Bekah's house. Her, her wonderful husband, Dereck, my baby boy, Ryan, and I are all just sitting around, talking.

It has been a really long time since we've all sat down, and could actually 'talk' about random things - instead of something BIG that is going on. Like the heart transplant that Bekah had to have - and the hard things that were going on in my life with my ex-boyfriend(fiance).

There have been some things going on in my life - the last couple of nights that don't really need to be mentioned - like how my ex is trying to pressure me to do something that I"m just NOT willing to do right now. I will tell you all that I'm still in love with the guy - but he's been driving me completely batty. He's telling me things I'd wished I could hear since we've broken up - like that he loves me and wants me - but I think that it's only so I'll give him what he wants.
I don't know when to trust someone and when not to.

If that wasn't complicated enough - I've got another guy friend. He recently told me that he loves me. And I don't know exactly how I feel about him. He's a great guy - who also happens to be my best friend, Bekah's (who I"m sitting in her house) brother.
I mean - truthfully, he's an incredible guy, who deserves only the best - and I really don't want to hurt him, the way that I've been hurt.
But I just don't know exactly what God has planned for my life - who I'm supposed to be with, and when I'm supposed to be with them.

At any rate, I'm trying to get all this crap out of my mind, so i can have a nice, peaceful time with my friends. I don't know how long I'll be staying here, but I hope that it'll be a while.
I could use some time off - getting all this out of my head, and just having fun.

Bekah is currently pregnant with her first child, and she's holding Ry-baby (my son...a month old tomorrow), for mommy practice.
I can't wait to be an 'Auntie Morgan..."

I think we'll just hang out around here for the rest of the day, I'm exhausted from the 21 hours that I drove within the last two days, and I just need some time to catch up on sleep deprivation. Ha.
No, I'm being serious. I'm so exhausted.
But Bekah's beautiful house is so cozy, and they're such great hosts, I think that I'll feel right at home here.

I love you guys!
~Morg, Morgan, Morgan Leigh...
(So many nicknames...I never know what to use anymore.)

Teenage Heartbreak

Have you ever heard the song Teenage Heartbreak by EleventySeven? Well, if you haven't, but have had your heart broken, I suggest listening to that song.

I am not going to go into all the gory details, but for sure, it isn't worth it at all. I don't even want to talk about it - that's how badly it hurts me.

All I know is that getting your heart broken feels like someone ripped out your heart and stomped on it. I feel like I was being used.

I guess this was how God wanted it to happen, and I know it had to be part of his plan. Hawk and I weren't supposed to be together, whatever. I'm alright with that- I just gotta get used to it. Which is really proving to be hard.

He and I have talked a few times since we broke up - and it's definitely awkward. Definitely different that it was- but I don't know what I would expect.

I'm just praying that God has someone out there for me. I know He does. I just wish that it was easier than this...

~MorganLeigh